


Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F, F/M, I'm not sure how that happened, M/M, The only smut is Fenris/Anders, but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 18:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14118120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: When Carver becomes a Templar recruit, Isabela offers him a sexual relationship during his monthly leave in order to help protect Hawke and Anders. A year later, the arrangement begins to fail as Carver grows more and more possessive and Isabela falls in love with someone else. A session of rough sex soon turns to assault and Carver flees,  leaving Isabela for dead.This story begins that morning and the aftermath that follows as Isabela's friends and lovers start to piece together what has happened and try to save her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Templar's Torment](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/366750) by Anonymous. 



> Almost seven years ago, there was a fill on the Kink-Meme which left Isabela for dead. When there was a request for continuing the events, I agreed. I am not the original authour as I was not even in the fandom at that point. However, I thought of what was important to me as a writer and thought of creating a counterpoint that would find justice for Isabela and an alternative to the possessive jealousy featured in the original fic.
> 
> This is all a very self-satisfied way of saying: I wanted to give Isabela a happy poly relationship and let her find revenge. This is still going to be hella dark though, so I might suggest having some fluff handy.

_Carver had never been subtle. Isabela knew what sort of man he had the potential to be. There was good in him, yes, but in his heart lay something truly bitter. The hardships of the Hawke family had turned his elder sister into light and the younger brother into dark. Carver would always compare himself. Carver would always find himself wanting. Hawke was not perfect, no, but to Isabela she was as close as any person had any right to be. And she loved her brother even as he broke her heart._

_Isabela did not know if Carver knew she was there that night. Carver did not seem to care who witnessed that fight with his sister, when the Templar recruit grasped Hawke's neck and threatened her._

_Isabela was about to rush down the stairs but Hawke threw him off. Shaking, she pleaded with him but Carver stormed out. Isabela had only heard a few pieces but it was enough for her to understand. Carver had learned about her new relationship with Anders and he had told Hawke if she did not break it off, he would have Anders found, thrown in the Gallows, and executed._

_Carver would have been riled up about any man loving his sister. The fact he was an apostate threw him into a frenzy. Hawke had tried to hide it, just as she tried to hide that she and Isabela had been seeing each other for almost a year. Carver was possessive of his sister but he was near obsessed with Isabela. The pirate had never been afraid of him and found his desperation amusing. It was a crush and he would get over it soon enough._

_But as Hawke fell to the floor sobbing, Isabela knew what she had to do. She kissed her girlfriend's brow and held her until she was calm enough to be left alone. And then she went out to the Gallows, paying off a guard to let her sneak into Carver's barracks._

_An arrangement, she offered. She did not reference the fight or even suggest it was a bribe or blackmail. She wanted him, she lied. She had always wanted him and could no longer resist. Carver bought it. A man like that always bought it. She stroked his ego and his cock and seduced him into believing he was the man he wanted to be._

_Carver did not speak to his sister for months but she and Anders remained safe._

***

Anders didn't drink, though sometimes he pretended to. It was a convenient lie that should have concerned the people in his life but most of them were relieved that to think that once in awhile Justice gave him a night off to unwind. Once a month when Carver's unit was given a weekend's leave, Anders would sneak away from the Hawke Estate and spend a night with Varric. This too was considered a good thing, a sign that Anders had a close and trusted friend.

Varric was not sure why exactly Anders had this routine. Carver rarely visited Hawke anymore and it would be much easier for Anders to sneak out through the tunnel if he did. Varric didn't ask. He likely suspected something but was too kind to say anything. He only teased when Isabela would eventually drag him home the next morning on the apparent orders of his girlfriend. 

Last night had been a bit different. Fenris had joined them for a few rounds, making a sincere effort to be cordial with Anders. It was strange, but it was necessary now with the increasingly complicated dynamics of their group. Anders tried to do the same. They would probably never like each other, but they could be civil. 

Fenris had eventually left near midnight and Anders was exhausted. He normally didn't drink anything but had been forced to down at least a pint or two in order to sell the lie. He practically fell asleep the minute he hit the couch, a long week catching up with him hard. 

It was why it was Justice who barked at him to wake the next morning, warning him that Carver had stormed down the hall like a demon from the Void. Anders shook himself awake, grateful that Varric was still fast asleep and snoring loudly. He wrapped himself in his cloak and went down to Isabela's room. He knocked lightly on the door but heard nothing. He knocked a little louder but there was no answer. 

He opened the door, warning, "I'm coming in. Please have clothes on."

Anders saw her still form and he switched immediately from worried friend to medic. She was naked and lying on her back, her bed stained with blood and urine. Her throat was covered in dark purple bruises and her eyes were closed. Anders felt for a pulse, whispering to her heart to beat. It was faint and fluttering but still there. It was if her body was willing itself to stay alive and it just about to flicker out. 

Anders put his hand on her throat, breathing slowly, encouraging her windpipe to open, just enough for her to breathe. Isabela involuntarily gasped and Anders moved his hand to her heart, pressing his fingers into her ribs. Isabela opened her golden eyes and her own fear flooded through him. Her heart beat far too quickly and he tried to soothe it, tried to temper its rhythm. He was near the end of his strength, but he wouldn't lose her now. 

"Isabela," he said as softly as he could, "it's alright. You're safe. I need you to try to relax a little. Just breath. You're safe."

With her heart functioning, she started bleeding again. Anders searched for the puncture and sent his magic through her body, willing the wound to clot and still. She shivered, her skin grey and her body covered in cold sweat. He covered her in his own jacket. Her throat wheezed as she tried to speak and Anders said quickly, "Don't. Your vocal cords are damaged and talking will only injure them further." 

Silent tears ran down her damaged face and Anders' heart broke. 

"It's okay," he promised. "You're safe now."

Isabela managed to whisper, "No."

She was in shock. He had seen it before. Her circulation had to be restored or her heart would stop. She needed to be somewhere warm and safe and there was no way in the Void that was here. 

"We need to get out of here," Anders explained as calmly as he could. "Can I take you to Merrill's? She'll have the medicines I need or will know how to find them at my clinic. You'll be safe in the Alienage. No one will look for you there."

Isabela managed to give the slightest nod of her head. Anders buttoned his coat around her and picked her up as gently as he could. She managed to hold onto him, her breath shallow and fading. 

He used every ounce of his strength to carry her out of the Hanged Man while keeping her alive. By the time they reached Merrill's doorstep, he felt half dead himself. At seeing them, the little elf raced out to help him. They got her into Merrill's bed and lit the fireplace. Isabela started shivering and her skin grew colder.

"What can I do?" Merrill pleaded.

"Focus on keeping her heart pumping. Her rhythm is unsteady. I'm going to see what I can use in your herbs. Just keep your hand on her chest."

Anders ran out into the kitchen and picked a few things. He mashed at them in a bowl with a stone and added a little water. He came back to Isabela's side and spread the paste over her bruised throat. Isabela gasped, her airways opening. She gripped at Anders' arm, her nails digging in and she looked at him with pure terror. 

Her skin grew warmer to the touch and the grey faded slightly from her face. She closed her eyes, her breathing softer and easier. Anders very lightly put a bandage over the poultice on her skin and kissed her forehead.

"Get some rest," Anders murmured. "I won't let anything happen to you."

But he had. For the past year, they had kept their pact. Anders was supposed to be there just in case. He was supposed to keep her safe but he had been asleep when she was probably screaming for help. Or maybe she hadn't. Sometimes the assaulted only whimpered. Sometimes they were silent. 

He had never a sound when it happened to him. 

Once Isabela was asleep, Anders whispered to Merrill, "There are some salves I'll need back at the clinic. Will you get them? There's no rush just yet. I don't want to heal over anything that's infected. I'm just..."

Merrill understood. "Write them down for me and I'll be back soon. Will you be okay if I leave you alone with her?"

Anders nodded tiredly. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

He lay on the bed beside her, making sure she was wrapped in every one of Merrill's thin blankets. He could see the small dotting of blood but she was stable now. It would be hard to know how Isabela would react when she woke, but she would live. She was a survivor. She always had been. If anyone could come back from this, it was her.

Anders closed his eyes himself, dreading what would come next and praying that Isabela would still be breathing when he woke.


	2. Chapter 2

_She had to tell Anders. Anders was, as she affectionately called him, her husband-in-law. He was also her doctor. Carver had set terms and picked a weekend each month when he had leave but it was in cycle with the middle of her period. She needed help moving it a few days because as good as she was with her mouth, she couldn't distract him with it forever._

_Anders helped her change her cycle through a few potions and a very bad menstruation. Then he started staying at the Hanged Man the night before Carver arrived. Isabela had never asked him to do it but she was grateful he did. Their relationship was more familial than romantic but there was a bond between them. They were in love with the same woman and they would do whatever it took to keep her safe. Even lying to her._

_Hawke had never expected fidelity from Isabela. She did not mind who she slept with as long as she was safe and she would tell Hawke if it got serious. This was serious and at times it was not particularly safe. Isabela liked rough sex, she liked trying new things. She could handle almost anything Carver threw at her and mostly enjoyed it. But not sometimes it went too far. That was when knowing Anders was just down the hall made it easier. He trusted her to know her limits and was there to protect her if she reached them. In many ways, her relationship with him was one of the healthiest she had ever been in. They had learned to love each other, first out of necessity and then out of deep understanding and respect._

_Anders said nothing to Hawke and Isabela knew that weighed on him. But this was the way it had to be._

***

Merrill returned to find Anders boiling water. He looked over to her, his face haggard and pale but at least he was on his feet. He nodded in thanks and took the supplies from her. He worked in her kitchen and Merrill went into her bedroom. 

Isabela was awake, her eyes heavy lidded and her gaze distant. She glanced up briefly as Merrill sat down on the bed beside her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked softly.

Isabela gave the ghost of a smile and then winced at the effort. Merrill put her hand on hers and gave it a squeeze. Isabela closed her eyes again.

Anders returned with a hot water bottle and bundled it in the blankets around Isabela's belly. He kissed the back of her neck before returning to work.

Merrill asked her, "Can I get you anything? How can I make you more comfortable?" 

Isabela pointed to Anders' now blood stained coat and Merrill queried further, "Would you like some fresh clothes? I can go to your room if you want and get you some. Do you want me to get anything else?"

Isabela gave the slightest shake of her head.

Merrill hesitated. "Do you...do you want me to ask Varric to come?" 

Isabela shook her head furiously, tears running down her face. She started panting and Anders came into the room. He held her shoulder and whispered something soft into her ear. Isabela took a deep breath and Anders stayed by her side as she calmed down again.

Anders answered for her. "No, I don't think we should get anyone else involved right now. I think the best thing we can do is prepare Isabela for a longer visit in my clinic once we've gotten her stabilized."

"She could stay with you and Hawke, there's plenty of room there," Merrill offered, "and it might be...you know, just a little more comfortable?"

Anders said abruptly, "No. I don't think that's a good idea right now. She needs care and I can't drag my entire medicine cupboard up to our place."

Merrill frowned. Anders was often dismissive of her but he was never rude. His face softened as if he realized his tone.

"Thank you for all your help," Anders said, his voice growing kinder. "I really appreciate it."

Merrill glanced back to Isabela who gave a nod and a hint of the cocky smile that let her know that her friend was okay. 

"Well, why don't I go pack some things for you?" Merrill offered, trying to sound cheerful. "I'll be back in just a little while, don't worry. Anders, can I show you how to get the bath going? Just in case that might be helpful."

The two mages left the bedroom, Merrill closing the door behind them.

Anders apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you." 

Merrill asked quietly, "She's really hurt, isn't she?"

Anders admitted, "It might take her awhile to recover."

Merrill didn't want to ask, but she needed to know, "Did someone attack her? Did a man...do that to her?"

Anders replied, "It's not my place to say, Merrill. When she's ready, she'll talk about it. Until then, we just have to be there for her."

Merrill nodded and tried to smile. "I'll be back soon."


	3. Chapter 3

_Isabela did not have unprotected sex. She used sheaths, potions, and even the good old fashioned Chantry Roulette if she needed to. When Carver spilled into her that first time, she felt a deep sense of shame. Not for the act itself but for giving him the power over her. Bareback sex had more consequences for her than for him._

_Her pregnancy scare was one like a newly deflowered girl's. There was no real reason to be afraid but she was convinced regardless. She could not have a child but she refused to have Carver's child._

_When her bloods flowed just as they should, she was relieved. She sat in the bath and cried, grateful to the god she didn't believe in. She wept and Hawke held her, thinking that she was just hormonal and needed some affection._

_Isabela truly loved her in that moment, loved her more than she had ever loved another person. She kissed her as if she was dying, desperate to cling to a moment. She would do anything for her. Anything._

***

Varric woke up feeling more hungover than he could ever remember feeling. He remembered the night before vaguely, only enough to know that Fenris had drunk him under the table before stumbling off somewhere, and that Anders was actually drunk instead of his usual act. Yet the mage was not on the sofa. In fact, the mage wasn't anywhere. 

Knowing Hawke would kill him if something happened to her beau, Varric stumbled around to find some pants. Only a little dressed, he looked for any sort of note but found none. He felt his way down the hall, his heart pounding. He knocked on Isabela's door, only to see that it was slightly open.

When he went inside, he saw the destroyed bed and Merrill at the dresser, putting Isabela's clothes and trinkets into a suitcase. She startled like a deer at the sight of him and started stammering.

Varric rubbed his temples. "Daisy, what's going on?" 

"She's staying with me," she replied uncomfortably. "Girl's night. She got a little too drunk and just needed to sleep it off. Nothing to worry about."

Varric looked back over at the bed. He remembered hearing Isabela last night and it sounded like she was getting it good but whatever happened there was beyond the woman's normal repertoire. 

"Is she okay?" He asked.

Merrill hesitated and Varric saw the fear in her face. He walked over to her and put his hand on her trembling arm.

"Daisy, what's wrong?" He asked gently.

Merrill slammed the case closed. "I can't talk about it. I'm sorry, Varric."

Varric normally was not the kind of guy to stop a woman from leaving a room but he grasped her arm and pleaded, "Where is she?"

"She's with me," Merrill assured. "She's safe. Please. I need to go."

Varric let go and whispered an apology. Merrill fled and Varric examined the scene. He considered his clues. Blondie had left and likely he was with Isabela now if Merrill was here. Some paramour of hers could have roughed her up too much but it would have had to happen in the morning. The blood on the sheets wasn't even dry yet. 

Wait. He had seen someone leave her room last night. Varric had gone to take a leak and he had seen a guy try to sneak out not much before dawn. It was someone he knew. Who was it? 

Varric felt instantly sober as he remembered the lovesick grin. No. No, he wouldn't do this to her. Not to anyone, but especially not her.

Varric ran and got dressed. He might not be allowed to ask Isabela what happened but he had more than a few words to the man who did this to her.

***

Fenris looked even worse than Varric felt in the morning light. The elf practically hissed as Varric threw open the curtains and forced him out of bed. 

"You've got thirty seconds to tell me why I shouldn't kick the living shit out of you," Varric growled. "What did you do?"

Fenris frowned sleepily. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you do to her? Because I swear to the Maker, Fenris, if you've hurt Isabela then-"

Fenris' face went nearly white as a sheet. "What did you say? What happened? Where is she? Varric, where is she?"


	4. Chapter 4

_Fenris. Now, that was a complication Isabela had not been expecting. She had been having sex with Carver for nearly a year when Fenris finally made his move. She had felt something for him for a while but she had put it aside. It was hard enough to continue her affair when she loved one person. To be in love with two people...with Hawke she at least had Anders to care for her. Fenris wanted so much of her and Isabela was finally in a place where she felt ready to give._

_One night led to a second and to a third. She kept telling herself it had to stop. She told Hawke, half hoping she would forbid her from seeing him again. Instead Hawke, beautiful and gentle Hawke, had been overjoyed. Hawke had found true happiness with her and Anders. They both gave her everything she needed and now Isabela, her dearly loved Isabela, could find it too. Isabela felt guilty. It was so strange to feel so now. In their nearly two year relationship, Hawke had only one other sexual partner and Isabela had...well, a lot more than that. But to love another person felt like cheating, even if Hawke was practically married to Anders. It was strange and complicated but she needed Fenris. It was almost if being anchored to Hawke allowed her to be more vulnerable with him._

_But there was Carver. Carver had learned she was seeing Hawke but had found delight in it. He was the sort of man who thought it "didn't count" between women and found petty joy in thinking that Anders was being cheated on. Isabela didn't correct him. It wasn't worth correcting him, not for the few hours a month she had to see him._

_She had been lucky enough to have a lot of good sex in her life. Admittedly, she and Hawke had less sex now that she lived with Anders but that was not what she needed from her. She and Hawke would spend nights talking and kissing. Sex was part of that same communing, part of that deep bond. It was less about sexual needs but then a sharing of their souls. They could get a rough tumble somewhere else. They sought each other out when they needed to be loved._

_Fenris, on the other hand, had a lust for Isabela that on anyone else she would have found distasteful. Fenris did not express his feelings for her with his words but with his fingers and tongue. The sex was less a revelation of the spirit but an understanding of her body she had never had before. His love for her was as violent as Hawke's was gentle, as consuming as hers was giving._

_Between the two, she felt as if she was finding a balance she had not thought herself capable of. Between the two, she felt as if every facet of her being was cherished and desired. She felt free in a way she thought being committed never would be._

_It was a question of now of balancing the rest of their relationships. Anders and Fenris...well, to say they didn't like each other was being overly polite. They were trying, bless them, but they were in a difficult situation. In the little the four of them had discussed about it, they had agreed that if Anders and Fenris ever wanted to sleep together, it would be fine with both women. Isabela had proposed a sort of square between all four of them but she knew that would take time. She and Anders had over a year of practicing their relationship. They had slept together, without Hawke, only once and they both hadn't cared for it. Mostly Anders felt guilty and he and Isabela were not sexually compatible on their own. With Hawke though...well, one time they accidentally set the curtains on fire and broke the mattress in half._

_Fenris was still new to this. He had known about Hawke up front. He was fine with Isabela being in another relationship, especially since he knew Hawke and cared for her. But for him, his ideal scenario would be him being her primary partner and Hawke being her secondary, and Anders being her "husband-in-law." He was okay with her sleeping with other people for now but not forever._

_And frankly, Isabela wanted that too. Since she had been seeing Fenris, she hadn't sleeping with anyone outside her relationships. Except for Carver. But she couldn't end that. She didn't know how to and it was too dangerous to. She thought about telling Fenris but she knew she couldn't. It was not fair for him to know and not Hawke._

_It was so new anyways. She didn't need to get ahead of herself. But she had started to imagine the future and she found she didn't want to stop._

***

Fenris found her in Anders' clinic. Outside the room, Varric and Anders yelled at each other with Merrill occasionally chiming in. He ignored all of them, focusing on Isabela half asleep in the shabby cot Anders called a bed. He lay beside her and she curled into him, resting her face on his chest. She started crying and he held her, rage rippling through him.

He wanted to ask who had done this to her but he didn't want to upset her further. He stayed with her while the potions took hold again and she drifted back into sleep. By that time, Anders had chased Varric and Merrill off and was coming back in to check on her.

Anders looked half dead. Fenris had not expected him to be doing well after a night of indulgence but he looked defeated. Devastated. He looked as if he had been betrayed and the only person to blame was himself.

Fenris gritted his teeth. "Tell me what happened, mage. Not whatever you told them. Tell me what really happened to her."

Anders gestured for him to follow. Fenris kissed Isabela's sleeping face before stepping into Anders' makeshift office. He expected Anders to show the same bravado and bluster he always did in their confrontations but instead he trembled and fell into his chair. His weariness lined his face, his brown eyes full of regret.

"It's my fault," Anders whispered. "There was a man she...she had a standing appointment with. He got rough sometimes. I was supposed to keep her safe but I was too late. She wasn't breathing, Fenris. Her heart had nearly stopped. He raped her and throttled her. He choked the life out of her and got off on it. He tore her anus almost straight through her perineum. She pissed the bed and he kept going. What sort of man...what sort of monster..."

"What do you mean a standing appointment? Tell me who did this," Fenris demanded. "Tell me who did this and I will make them pay."

Anders shook his head. "I can't...I can't. Not before I tell Hawke. Too many people know already. I wanted to give her some more time."

Fenris knelt down and tilted his chin, forcing him to look him in the eye. 

"Tell me," Fenris insisted. "I will not let her lie there knowing that the man who did this still breathes. Tell me why I should let him live any longer."

Anders whispered, "It's Carver."

Fenris felt dizzy as Anders confessed between tears, "They had an arrangement. She was trying to keep Hawke and me safe. I tried to keep Isabela safe. I was supposed to be there but I was too drunk and I didn't hear until I was too late. I can't tell Hawke. It will destroy her, Fenris. She's already lost the rest of her family. I can't tell her that Carver did this. I can't tell her I failed."

Fenris knew it was irrational but his rage turned to Anders. "She trusted you to protect her and you let this mad man nearly kill her. She trusted you." 

Fenris grasped his wrist and pulled them both to their feet. He pushed Anders against the wall and drew back his arm, ready to strike him. Anders did not fight back. His lips parted and it felt as if he was too weak to beg. 

Anders whispered, "You can't hurt Carver but you can hurt me. I deserve it. Do what you want. Isabela won't blame you. Hawke won't blame you. Just do what you want."

Fenris' heart felt as if it would burst. He needed Isabela. He wanted her. He needed her arms around his neck and her warm, clever smile. He wanted to bury his face in her shoulder and her to tell him she was safe. 

It wasn't right. He knew it wasn't Anders' fault. The fault lay with only one person and Fenris could not touch him. He felt too much, too strongly, and he felt as if he would lose his mind if he did not do something.

Fenris crashed his mouth to his and Anders sighed in understanding, grasping at the back of his head. 

"You'll let me destroy you?" Fenris hissed in his ear. "Let me do to you what he did to her? I'll rip you open, mage. I'll choke your voice from your throat. And when you're destroyed, I'll finish in your ruined ass and leave you hard and wanting. Is that what you want? Because I'm more than willing to give it to you."

Anders murmured, "Yes."

Fenris acted on instinct. It was a blur, the motions that brought them to the floor. Anders was pinned beneath him, naked and trembling. Fenris above him, pounding him into the floor, his hands on his throat. Anders whined and whimpered. Fenris shut him up with a possessive kiss, further taking his breath away. Only when Anders put his hand on his chest did he break it. 

Anders arched his back, his lips swollen and his eyes filled with both disgust and lust. Fenris forced another kiss and Anders groaned into his mouth, pleading for him to not stop. It hurt. It had to hurt. Anders gasped and winced and Fenris slapped him, not hard, but enough. 

The elf was growing close, his body tightening. It was not supposed to feel this good. It was not supposed to draw him so close to the mage. But primal instinct was taking over him. He needed to mark him, he needed him to recognize him as his better. He needed to fill him until his issue dripped down his legs. How humiliating it would be to tell his lover of his failure with Fenris' seed in him. How much it would break him. And how much it would disgrace Fenris, having Anders so close to where his mate lay shattered. Anders was not the only one who did not protect her. Not the only one who should have saved her and failed. His pleasure was his punishment. 

He came, whispering Isabela's name. He slammed into him, spurting deep and clawing at his skin. Anders gasped painfully as Fenris withdrew, leaving him discarded and distraught on the floor. Fenris felt his heart ease but he felt sick. Anders had stopped him from doing something he would regret but Fenris had still acted in violence. If it was to happen, it should not have happened like this.

Fenris offered his hand and helped Anders to his feet. Fenris left the office, leaving Anders leaning against the counter. 

He sat at Isabela's bedside and took her hand in his. The pirate stirred slightly and looked over at him with a gentle smile. She cleared her throat and asked hoarsely,  
"Stay with me?"

Fenris climbed up into bed with her and took her back in his arms. 

Isabela managed to whisper croakily, "Did you bang?"

Despite the weight of his heart, he managed to chuckle. "Yes. You are not upset?"

"It's good. Better than yelling. Or punching."

"I agree," Fenris replied. "Go back to sleep. I'm here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's some random Fenders smut that seemed to fit Anders' emotional arc in all this.


	5. Chapter 5

_Isabela knew she was in love with Hawke on a summer's day. It was hot, both of them suffering with their long hair sticking to the back of their necks. They drank cheap beer on a borrowed sailboat with their friends. The two of them sat on the side, their feet in the water._

_Isabela looked over at Hawke and saw her frown._

_"What are you thinking about?" Isabela asked._

_Hawke replied seriously, "The economy."_

_Isabela rolled her eyes and Hawke shrugged._

_"That I would never have seen any of this if we stayed in Ferelden," she admitted. "Home is home but...Andraste, look at that city. Look at that harbour and look at this beautiful sea. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than this sea?"_

_Isabela looked over at her, the wind starting to pick up. Hawke's poor plastered hair started to move in the breeze, sticking to her face. Hawke tried blowing it away but it just clung to her lips. Isabela giggled and tucked it back behind her ears._

_Hawke grinned and Isabela's heart nearly stopped in her chest._

I would do anything for this girl, _she thought._ I would die for her. 

_Isabela would not know until much later how close she would come to doing so. And even still, knowing what would happen next, she would still lean in to kiss her. She would never regret that, even when she stopped breathing._

***

Hawke had not realized how long she had been waiting for Anders to come home. There was work to do, as always. Record keeping, letter writing, all the things that came from having investments and....other business in Kirkwall. It was only by dusk that she started to worry. Sometimes he worked through the night and if it was serious, he would have sent word. But whenever he stayed at Varric's, Isabela would bring him back home by lunch.

Hawke had slept many nights without him. But she could not sleep that night, tossing and turning as she waited for him to come home. And when the dawn broke without him, her mild worry grew heavier. Something was wrong. 

She dressed, readying to head out to find him when there was a knock at the back door. She opened it, relieved to see Anders on his feet. His face was worn and weary. She doubted he had slept that night either.

"You're home," she sighed in relief. "Come inside."

Anders hesitated but then stepped inside. She put her hand on his back, guiding him into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, practically thudding in his seat. Hawke put on the kettle for tea and came back to sit beside him, taking her hands in his. 

Anders started to speak but his voice broke. He closed his eyes and tried again.

"There's something I need to tell you," he confessed. 

Her heart sank. "What's wrong?"

Anders said tiredly, "Isabela was assaulted yesterday. She...she was choked and raped. I've been treating her most of the last twenty-four hours. She's okay. She's stable now but we nearly lost her."

Hawke started shivering and Anders promised, "She's alright. She's already smiling and making jokes. We'll have to take good care of her but she'll be okay."

Hawke whispered, "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you. I'm not as a good a healer but I could have helped or at least been there for her."

Anders swallowed. "It's complicated."

Hawke laughed weakly. "Complicated?"

Anders murmured, "I couldn't get to you right away. Fenris was upset. He needed me...and I needed him."

"So you let him know and not me?" She questioned. "Isabela and I have been together for two years. You think I wouldn't want to know? You slept with him, didn't you? You were too busy screwing him to tell me that the woman I loved was dying, weren't you?"

Anders said nothing in his defense and she let go of his hands, rising to her feet. He stood behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I couldn't go to you, Hawke," Anders pleaded. "Not until Isabela said I could. I wanted to, I did, but I needed to give her whatever agency I could."

Hawke's heart nearly broke. "She didn't want to see me?"

Anders hesitated. "It wasn't about you. Hawke...it was Carver."

Hawke turned to face him, unable to process what he had just said. 

Anders explained softly, "When he joined the Templars, she started an affair with him. She had heard him threatening both of us. She was trying to protect us, Hawke. She thought this was the best way she could do this. Before you ask, yes, I knew. That's why I've been staying with Varric. I was there in case she needed me. And this time she did."

Hawke could not process it. She had a hundred questions, none of them would be helpful, but all born out of the same denial. Anders had to be wrong. Carver was many things. He was possessive, petty, but he was not evil. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't. He couldn't. 

Hawke thought of Carver's hand against her own throat and pressed her fingers against her skin, never forgetting the touch. Yes...yes...maybe he could. Tears came to her eyes as thought of Isabela, how much she had suffered. 

"We can go see her if you want," Anders murmured. "It might help." 

Hawke nodded. "Let's go. Please."

***

The clinic was empty, a rare sight. Anders led her back into his own bedroom where Isabela lay in bed. The pirate heard them enter and sat up, grimacing. Hawke saw the bruises on her throat and she felt sick. 

Isabela croaked, "Just Hawke." 

Anders nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Isabela patted the bed beside her and Hawke sat down. Isabela embraced Hawke tightly, burying her face in her shoulder. Hawke held her protectively. Nothing else mattered but Isabela being safe in her arms. Isabela started crying and Hawke smoothed her hair, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm here," Hawke murmured. "It's all going to be okay, Bela. I promise."

Isabela shook her head, sobbing harder. 

"What can I do?" She asked. "I'll do anything. Tell me what I can do."

Isabela didn't answer, just held onto her. Hawke kissed her face and wiped away her tears as Isabela looked deeply into her eyes. Hawke's heart crumbled. She was afraid. She had never seen Isabela afraid before. Nervous, anxious, but never this deep profound shaking of her soul. 

Hawke had to separate them in her mind. The Carver that she had grown up with, the one she loved, and the Carver that would do this. It had been a hard few years and she had seen him chipped away. But that was no excuse. The Carver who now lived and breathed would have to pay. He needed to face justice.

Hawke promised, "Don't be scared, Bela. I'm going to handle this. I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: a very passing reference to incest

_Isabela had been too drunk on love and rum to remember Carver was due any moment. She had been up almost all night with Fenris, who in rediscovering his sexuality was making up for lost time. She was sore and tender from him just from the sheer number of times. She was practically glowing with sweat and shuddering still from climax. She felt like a cat in the sunlight, luxuriating in just how_ good _she felt._

_It was hard to remember Carver's existence until he entered her room. She was not prepared, physically or mentally. She went along with it anyways, coming up with new things to entice him, not wanting him to leave unsatisfied._

_But then God...dear God. She could remember so little except what it felt like to stop breathing, for her lungs to beg for air and have nothing to give them. It was sheer panic. She had practiced drowning, as all sailors do. She had held her breath longer than she should, pushing herself as far as she needed to save the life of herself or a crewmate. But this...this was what it meant to suffocate, not at the hands of the uncaring sea but at the hands of an uncaring man._

_This was not how she was supposed to die._

__

*** 

Carver had spent the last twenty-four hours at the Blooming Rose. He needed to get drunk enough to forget, get off enough to feel soothed, and seen enough to have an alibi. He shouldn't have still been interested in sex but he needed to clean it from his system. He paid for any girl who was available, spending hours and too much coin in eliminating his desire for Isabela. It had to be just any day. It had to be unremarkable. He would have to leave and see her again in four weeks. And if anything had happened to her...he needed to be so distant from it as to be surprised.

There was a grim satisfaction that popped unwanted into his mind. No other man was going to touch her. She had died with him in her. She had died on his cock.

No. She was fine. All was fine. He had just pushed it too far and she would wake sore and angry with him. She was fine. 

After a long rest and bath, Carver left the luxury suite he had paid for and went back to the bar for another round. He drank until he could barely stand and stumbled to bed again, ordering for another girl to join him shortly.

When he returned to his room, his older sister was sitting in a chair, waiting for him. He had never seen her burn so brightly, her gaze hot and her mouth tight. She was almost beautiful if he were not so convinced her touch would set him ablaze.

"We need to talk," Hawke said coldly.

She knew. Of course. Isabela had probably finally told her. Was his sister jealous? Of course she was. She was a woman. She couldn't pleasure Isabela as much as he could. And with Anders as the only man in her life, she wasn't having as good a time as Isabela either. Had he ever left her weak in the knees? Had he ever taken her in the ass or between those pathetic breasts? He was drunk enough to almost consider bending his own sister over just to shut her up for once. She might even thank him for it.

Carver replied, "Fine. Say what you will." 

"I know what happened yesterday," Hawke said, her gaze never leaving his. "I saw her. I know what you did. She's dead, Carver. I'm giving you twelve hours to get out of Kirkwall. If you're still here by dawn, I'm going to do a thing to protect you. And trust me when I say there is a lot you're going to need protecting from."

Carver went numb. "Sister, I-"

Hawke's voice was as cold as ice. "If you weren't my brother, you would be already dead by now. This is the best deal I can make you. Get out of town and I never want to hear from you again. Do you understand?"

The survivor in Carver took over, rushing out of the Blooming Rose. On his way out, he knocked into Knight Captain Cullen. It must be nearly nightfall if he was here to bring the recruits back to the Gallows. He hadn't much time. 

Carver grasped his shoulders. "Sir, I need your help."


	7. Chapter 7

_"Would you still love me?"_

_Hawke looked only resigned. She clearly knew what Isabela was asking but she did not have the strength to reply. What monster was she if she agreed? What monster was she if she said no?_

_Hawke finally whispered, "Yes. Yes, I will still love you."_

_Isabela kissed her and Hawke clung to her, not wanting to let her go. If Isabela walked out the door, it would be out of her hands. She would not be able to stop it._

_Hawke brought her to bed, hoping to delay the inevitable and for the reassurance that this would not change what was between them. But how could it not?_

***

_Six months later_

Isabela was at the Rigid Root, a bordello on the outskirts of Starkhaven. It was just past midnight, the clocks all set to strike twelve. She reclined in one of the lounges, allowing a pair of twins to dance just inches from her. She occasionally flicked silvers into a bowl, both giving a brief smile before continuing their act. 

She kept an eye on the stairs leading towards the suites, as she had for a few hours now. While she was enjoying the display, she was here on business. She did not want to waste her opportunity just because of a few pretty faces. Just as the new day began, she saw her target and signaled to the bar keep.

Isabela entered the most expensive of the suites and rested on the bed. It was not more than a minute before the half dressed Templar entered the room. Isabela stood and grabbed the knife from her bodice. Before he could react, she already had it against his throat. 

Carver went as pale as a ghost. "No...my sister said you were dead."

Isabela smirked. "You know, I kind of liked you. The sex was definitely fun, especially at the beginning. We could have had a good thing going but you made a big mistake, Carver. You don't own me. No one owns me."

She walked closer as he backed against the wall. "If you were any other man, I would have slit your throat the minute I could stand again. I was going to let you go, little pup, for your sister's sake. I'm selfish, but I'm not selfish enough to hurt her."

Carver pleaded, "Then think of her. Isabela, please. It was an accident."

"An accident? I used our safe word, Carver. But let's say that you were right and it was just a terrible mistake. A man can come back from that, a man can make amends. But you didn't do that, did you? No. A man haunted by that sort of mistake doesn't make it twice."

He shuddered under the blade. "I didn't do anything." 

Isabela sighed. "Don't lie to me. It's so much less fun if you do. I know you've been abusing one of your charges."

"Margritte?" Carver asked breathlessly. "How do you-"

Isabela winced. "I guess that's two of your charges then. How many more do you have under your thumb?"

Carver shuddered. "It's not what you think, I swear."

"You know Helenia took a beating from a guard in order to smuggle out a letter to the Underground. I knew it was you. I knew in my gut it was you and I spent some good coin making sure," Isabela growled. "You know they can't say no, don't you? You think just because they're terrified it means they want you? Would you listen to them if they said their safe word? Would you stop?"

Carver leaned into the blade, his blood beading against his skin.

"I loved you," he whispered. "I would have given you everything if you had only learned to shut your legs. You were the one who forced me to take you in the ass like a degenerate. And you got off on it. You wanted it harder. You wanted it to hurt. So I made it hurt because if I couldn't have you, no one would. None of those girls meant anything to me. They just looked like you, just enough that I could close my eyes and pretend. I could make them love me like I wanted you to. They could be just mine. If you're going to kill me, kill me. But tell me. Who was it? Who was it that night?"

Isabela considered telling him but she did not want Fenris' name to be the last thing that he ever heard. So instead, she said only one word to him. That last word that she had managed to say before he destroyed her.

Just before Isabela sliced his throat, she leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Lothering."


End file.
